BTS Interview with Growth. Yes, it’s OK if it’s MessyMar 24, 2021
Let's get real. I want growth to look like the 3rd act of a Disney movie. A cascade of gratifying scenes set to a swelling soundtrack. Misunderstandings resolve, the people find each other, the heroine ascends, and love conquers all.
And it does look like that, but only in fleeting moments, because life isn’t linear. We think it is, because of calendars and wrinkles, but it’s more like satisfaction here while we're marathoning there. And weirdly, that is the exact point.
On Monday, I was saying goodbye to my daughter after a sweet and connected weekend with my kids. Tomorrow she is defending her master's thesis! My heart is bursting with pride. But on that day, I inadvertently said something to her that poked an old trigger. She snapped. Fast, and hard. My eyes stung with tears and my body flooded with confused outrage. She tried to rein it in. “I’m sorry” she screeched, and then out tumbled her hot angry why. Emotion filled the sunny room; it was loud.
In that minute, I knew that we were not going to be able to reel it in before I had to drive back to Bend. The feelings were too big.
Awkwardly—maybe smartly?—we said goodbye, and I walked to my car, crushed.
A short while later I sat in the New Seasons parking lot eating a warm sandwich with shame stuck in my chest. My daughter had already texted me her apology, and I had already comforted her. But the feelings.
My other daughter texted me about repairs on her car. I answered her. I told her about the snapfest with #1. Oof yeah, that is a hot topic she texted back. Hot tears filled my eyes as I chewed my sandwich. But as I chewed I felt the dissolve begin. My tears of outrage and shame released into tears of healing. I felt heard. My daughter felt heard too. “It’s okay,” I had texted. We knew we'd sort it out later, after the storm. We felt safe to comfort each other; we felt understood.
Growth happens in the daily moments. “I have faced this before. Here it is again, how do I choose an expanded, more courageous response?"
Of course, it happens on our meditation cushions. And yes we can tap into the realization that we are, truly, only here to be the Universe expressing itself and that our purpose is to amplify love and joy in ourselves and our world. But we are also here to HAVE the human experience.
“Earth is a school,” said master teacher Dolores Cannon.
We are moving into a new world, and the old negativity will be left behind.
Through the law of cause and effect, we change the world one person at a time.
One person at a time has been alchemy and idea sex in my practice for the past two months, with potent, amazing results. Literal miracles in money, health, work, and relationships.
Are you ready to be loved, heard, seen, and to have your work amplified? As poet Jack Gilbert says in Big Magic, "The treasures inside you are hoping you'll say yes.